Blaugust #2: On Pet Birds
A lot of people will say that cockatoos have the intelligence of a four or five year old `human child. And as a new parront (parrot parent), I have to say that this is 100% true. I mean, I didn’t look up the studies or anything, but I feel that it is true in my soul. My bird is an eternal toddler. She is a toddler with a chainsaw on her face and the ability to induce migraines with her voice who will never grow up. And she will live for like sixty years. And I adore her to bits.
Saira has been with us a week to this day, and every moment I spend with her is enriching and beautiful and fun. Even during the screeching! Even during the pellet flinging and accidental floor pooping! And especially during cage escaping crimes!!!!!!!
A lot of people will also tell you not to get a cockatoo if you’re thinking of getting one. Before I got Saira, I thought that was very harsh. But now…
Most people don’t have the amount of time to spare that they require, you know? Saira wants me literally every moment of every day. If I’m not there- or sometimes if I am there and just focused on Not Her - she screeches and flaps her wings. She shreds toys and bites jewelry. She pulled out my nose ring the first time we met. I love Saira, and I have to echo the sentiment.
It’s not that no one is ever able to care for one appropriately. It’s that you should be sure you’re prepared before you begin your feathery journey. In the right configuration, it can change your life.
For my whole life, I used to be so depressed I didn’t see a future for myself. I got properly medicated only recently, but that doesn’t cure depression, it only alleviates the suicidal ideation and clears up some of the distortions. You still have to pull yourself there on your own. You still have to find a reason for living.
I think maybe taking care of Saira is my reason. This bird could outlive me. I need to be around and healthy in order to keep her safe. She is my reason for trying.
Overall these days I am trying So Hard. I am trying in the world of socialization, and I'm even trying to do things IRL more when my chronically ill body allows me to (rare, unfortunately). I crave the outside world and connection and Someone To Talk To. Well, Saira says her name, says "Hi!", and says "wheeee!" I think that's a good start.
Having Saira in my life and having her be my main focus of all has given me the inspiration to focus on other things. Which sounds oxymoronic, probably, but it's… she brings me a joy I have been missing. The happiness she brings me is greater than the happiness my new meds gave me when I started them and they saved my life. With that happiness that Saira sparks, I'm able to have the energy to do the things that make me even happier. Hobbies like coding amd fucking around with computers and writing and teaching myself digital art. Fandom events. Other events. Conversations.
I'm getting somewhere?
I hope so, at least.